How to Deal With Sorority Rejection During Rush
Unfortunately, no one is immune to being dropped during sorority recruitment. So how do you deal with it? Let’s talk about it.
One of the most painful parts about sorority Rush is getting dropped whether it is from your favorite sorority or by all of the sorority chapters at your school.
It’s something that most sorority women don’t talk about.
Because let’s be honest…
It’s embarrassing to admit you were rejected.
However, it’s a discussion that needs to be had because getting dropped is inevitable. And that’s the truth.
In this blog post, we will discuss why girls get get dropped during sorority recruitment and how to cope with it when it happens to you.
- Unfortunately, no one is immune to being dropped during sorority recruitment. So how do you deal with it? Let's talk about it.
- What does it mean to dropped by a sorority?
- Why do sororities drop you?
- What if I get dropped by every sorority during Rush?
- How to cope with being cut from sorority recruitment
- Concluding thoughts on dealing with sorority rejection
- Thanks for reading about how to deal with sorority rejection.
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What does it mean to dropped by a sorority?
When you are dropped or cut from a sorority during recruitment, it means a sorority has decided to discontinue inviting you back to their parties, and therefore, you are no longer eligible to join their chapter this recruitment period.
Why do sororities drop you?
Recruitment is designed to be a mutual selection process between each sorority chapter and potential member.
That means a sorority has to love you as much as you love them (and vice versa) in order for you to get an invite back the next day of Rush.
Additionally, recruitment rules only allow potential members to see a certain number of chapters each day of recruitment.
As the days get closer to Bid Day, the less chapters you get to return back to.
So what does this all mean? Let’s break it down.
What is mutual selection and how does it work?
Mutual selection ensures that every day of sorority recruitment, potential new members are asked to return to their most preferred sorority chapter(s) and sorority chapters get to talk to their most preferred potential new members.
And this is all determined by a ranking system.
However, the system is not as clear cut and you may get invited back to sororities you didn’t want to return to.
So how does this ranking system work?
On the sister side: During recruitment, after each party or round of recruitment, the women of the sorority chapter you just spoke to will have a few minutes before the next party or round of Rush to rank you and any other potential new members they have spoken to.
If these women liked you and see you as being one of them, they will rank you high and you will be put up higher on their invite list for the next day of recruitment.
So for example, if you spoke to Elizabeth and Molly from Zeta Zeta Zeta, Elizabeth and Molly will submit an electronic vote that essentially “ranks” you on the invite list for the following day of recruitment.
If Elizabeth and Molly really liked you and saw you as Zeta Zeta Zeta potential, you will be higher up on the next day’s invite list and will be invited back to that chapter the next day of recruitment.
However, if Elizabeth and Molly didn’t see you as a good fit, they will rank you low and you may not get invited back depending on how other girls were ranked.
On the potential new member side: At the end of each day of recruitment you will fill out a form where you will list, in preferential order from high to low, the sororities you would want to return to the next day.
The higher you put a sorority chapter on your list, the higher you rank that sorority.
For example, if you put Zeta Zeta Zeta on the top spot on your list, you are ranking them high and saying you really want to return to them the next day of recruitment.
Then you simply hope that chapter feels the same way about you.
However, you will never know your ranking or where you fell on each sorority chapter’s invite list.
That stuff is top secret and it isn’t even shared with sorority sisters unless they are on the matching committee.
In summary, the mutual selection process has 4 potential outcomes:
- If you rank the sorority chapter high on your list AND the sorority chapter ranks you high on their invite list, you will be invited back.
- If you rank the sorority chapter low on your list AND the sorority chapter ranks you low on their list, you will be dropped.
- If you rank the sorority chapter high on your list BUT the sorority chapter ranks you low on their list, you will be dropped.
- If you rank the sorority chapter low on your list BUT the sorority chapter ranks you high on their list AND you were not invited back to enough sororities to have a full schedule the next day, you will be invited back.
Pretty complex, huh? Check out the chart I made below to help you visualize this mutual selection process.
* You will only get invited back if you do not have a full schedule the next day.
What if I get dropped by every sorority during Rush?
It’s unfortunate, but not all girls make it through sorority recruitment whether it’s by their own choice to withdraw from it or every sorority drops them before Bid Day.
Depending on how large Greek life is at your university and how many women go through Rush, there may be more or less woman who get dropped from the recruitment process in its entirety.
At my university, with less than 5,000 students in Greek Life, it was quite rare for women to get dropped by all sororities.
It was mostly their own choice to drop out of recruitment or it was due to them not having a high enough GPA.
However, if you do get dropped or released from sorority recruitment, you will be notified by phone by your Pi Chi or recruitment counselor.
She will call you and instead of telling you that you have been invited back for another day of recruitment, she will break the bad news to you that you did not get invited back by any chapters, and your recruitment process will be over unless you are offered a Snap Bid before Bid Day.
What is a Snap Bid?
A Snap Bid is a special type of bid offered to women who went through at least the first official day of sorority recruitment, but did not get matched to their preferred sorority and they maximized their preference list each round of recruitment–meaning no intentional single preference, block bidding, or suicide bidding.
If a sorority does not meet quota, meaning they did not get enough girls for their newest pledge class, they can extend Snap Bids to women who meet the latter requirements before Bid Day.
What is single preference or suicide bidding?
If you list one sorority on your ranking list, but you were invited back to multiple sororities, this is considered single preference or suicide bidding.
It’s not the best strategy when going through sorority recruitment because it prevents you from receiving a Snap Bid or a bid on Bid Day if the sorority you wanted ended up dropping you after Preference Round.
It’s better and recommended for you to list all of your options so you maximize your options to join a sorority.
However, if you are 100% ok with receiving a bid to both sororities you were invited back to on Pref Night, then list only your top pick and see what happens come Bid Day.
If you do not receive a Bid, you will be eligible to participate in continuous open bidding (COB), so you can try again the following semester.
How to cope with being cut from sorority recruitment
Sorority recruitment, honestly, is a really harsh process at times.
Not only are you, as a potential new member, being judged constantly, but getting cut really hurts!
Personally, I was cut by every single sorority except Gamma Phi Beta by the second day of recruitment.
I was absolutely devastated and I spent most of the day crying, but luckily Gamma Phi Beta ended up being the perfect sorority for me. However, I didn’t realize this in the midst of sorority recruitment.
But getting dropped by sororities is part of the recruitment process. And you will experience getting dropped every single day until Bid Day.
So you need to be prepared to deal and cope with any sorority rush disappointment you may face.
In this section, we talk about 7 ways to deal with sorority rejection to help you keep your spirits during and after sorority recruitment.
1. Understand there’s nothing wrong with you
Whether you are the perfect straight A girl who was the president of every single club in high school or your average plain Jane, you will experience getting cut during recruitment.
It’s just part of the process whether you like it or not.
You can only visit so many chapters each day of recruitment!
So you’re bound to get dropped no matter what.
You may also like: How To Make Friends In A Sorority If You’re Shy
But when you get dropped, don’t think it’s because there’s something majorly wrong with you. Because there really isn’t.
The sororities that dropped you just believe another chapter would be a better fit for you or you were actually so amazing, but you ranked another sorority higher than them, and therefore, you got dropped.
You need to trust in the recruitment process no matter how upsetting it gets at time.
This process is designed to match you with the best sorority chapter for you.
So simply by being yourself and trusting in the processes will put you in the right house.
And once Bid Day comes along you’ll forget all about recruitment because you’ll be more focused on your new sisterhood.
Here is a YouTube video from a girl who went through recruitment at the University of Maryland and decided not to join at the end of it.
2. Confide in someone, like your mom or friend, who isn’t going through Rush
Going through Rush is difficult and it’s good to have someone you trust that you can vent to when the recruitment process gets tough.
Of course you can talk to your recruitment counselor, but they are really focused on keeping you in the recruitment process until the end. Even if it’s not the best option for you.
And you could talk to a friend or roommate going through recruitment with you, but they may have their own biases or it may emotionally upset them too if recruitment isn’t going their way either.
So having someone outside of the recruitment process to talk things through can be really beneficial.
They can help you see things that people inside the recruitment process can’t see and give you the confidence boost you need to continue on.
For example, when I got dropped from every sorority except one by the second day of recruitment, I went right to my boyfriend’s house and he comforted me and motivated me to keep going through the recruitment process. And I’m so glad he did!
3. Allow yourself to feel all your feelings
If you get dropped by your dream sorority or by every sorority, it’s ok to cry, scream, get angry, or feel whatever you feel.
It’s not everyday you deal with constant rejection for days at a time, so it’s 110% normal to feel completely shattered after processing each sorority rejection.
However, don’t let this rejection define who you are.
Again, repeating what I said from the first tip, just because you are dropped does not mean you are a bad person, not pretty enough, or not smart enough.
Every sorority chapter’s goal is to match you with the right house whether it is their house or another one.
And with each cut, you get closer and closer to your perfect match.
So just hang in there, cry a little bit, and then continue on. You got this!
4. Continue through the recruitment process till the end
It can be easy to want to quit by the second or even third day of recruitment. Especially if all your top choices have dropped you.
But I’d highly advise you to continue on till the bitter end.
And even if you end up in your last choice sorority, still at least try to get to know the girls in the chapter and see if you can grow to love it, just as much as they loved you during recruitment.
If you are still feeling iffy about it during Bid Day or even right before sorority Initiation, you can drop your sorority and go through formal recruitment again.
But you gotta give your new chapter a chance because you never know what opportunities or friendships could come out of it if you don’t at least try.
You may also like: 50 Good Questions To Ask Sorority Sisters During Recruitment
5. Seek new ways to get involved on campus
If you end up being dropped by every sorority on campus or end up not loving the sorority you get a bid to, you can always find alternatives to make friends and get involved on campus.
Usually, every semester, there’s a meet and greet event on campus where all the clubs and organizations set up tents or stations in a gymnasium or on a field.
Students are then invited to mingle with the different clubs and organizations at their university to find the ones that best suit their interests.
For example, at the University of Alabama, they call this event their “Get On Board Day.”
Or at California State University, they literally call this event, “Meet The Clubs.”
So try googling your own university and see if they have an event like this!
Joining clubs and organizations can sometimes be a better fit for you than joining a sorority because:
- They are likely not as much of a time commitment
- They are usually cheaper to join
- The people who join them already have the same interest(s) as you, so you may find it’s easier to make friends
- The opportunities offered are more tailored to your interests and goals
- It may be easier to get a leadership position in them
6. Think of the positives of not joining a sorority
Although being cut by every sorority feels horrible, you may have saved yourself from an experience that would not have been the best fit for you and your busy college schedule or financial situation.
In reality, there are a lot of consequences of joining a sorority that many women fail to realize during recruitment.
For instance, by joining a sorority, you lose a lot of free time that you could use to study, have a part-time job, or hang out with friends.
Also, joining a sorority can be really expensive especially when you add in fees for missing chapter or events and extras like tickets to formal, t-shirts, and big little gifts.
Finally, joining a social organization of all girls has the word “drama” written ALL OVER IT.
And unfortunately, joining a sorority can make it feel like you’re back in high school again with cliques and gossip.
If that isn’t your vibe, you may have saved yourself from a lot of hurt by getting dropped during sorority recruitment.
So if it makes you feel better, try to think of all of the positives of not joining a sorority like:
- More time to study
- More time to spend with friend and family
- Don’t have to pay outrageous sorority dues
- Don’t have to worry about as much girl drama
- Don’t have to attend events that don’t interest you
- Get to join other clubs and organizations on campus
- Don’t have to attend long chapter meetings
- Don’t have to attend weekend long retreats that you may or may not like
- Don’t have to have an excuse for every sorority event you have to miss
And of course, don’t let these cons I just listed scare you away from joining a sorority.
There are a lot of perks of joining a sorority and it can really be an incredible experience for many college girls.
But sorority life is not meant for every girl and the recruitment process attempts to weed these types of girls out.
7. Consider going through recruitment again
If you end up in the wrong sorority for you or no sorority ends up wanting you, but you really want to be in a sorority, consider going through recruitment again.
Even though it can be a pain to endure more days of recruitment, by your second attempt going through Rush, you’ll sure be a pro and know exactly what to expect and what to look for in a sisterhood.
And don’t feel like going through recruitment again is a bad thing.
There’s actually a lot of girls who go through the process again and they end up in a better sorority than when they went through it the first time.
You may also like: Re-Rushing As A Sophomore? What You Need To Know.
I know one girl at my university who went through recruitment twice because she didn’t get the sorority she wanted the first time around.
By the second time, she joined a sorority she absolutely loved and thrived in!
Also think about it, if you go through recruitment as a freshman, but get dropped or put in what you feel is the wrong sorority for you, you’ll go through a lot of change by the time you go through recruitment a second time.
And this change can be a good thing, because you can think more rationally about your options and choose a sorority that fits what you want to get out of Greek life better.
However, going through recruitment again does not guarantee you will to make it through recruitment.
Sometimes it’s simply not meant to be, and that’s ok!
Here is a YouTube video of a girl who got dropped by all sororities at Mizzou, TWICE.
Concluding thoughts on dealing with sorority rejection
One of the worst parts about sorority recruitment is getting cut or dropped by sororities. However, it’s part of the process and it brings you closer to joining the perfect sorority for you.
But regardless, it never feels good to be rejected and you have every right to feel emotional about it.
In this blog post, we discussed how getting dropped by sororities works and why girls get cut from recruitment. We also discussed 7 ways to deal with sorority rejection.
I truly this blog post helps you understand this side of sorority recruitment and helps you cope better with being cut.
And just know, you are not alone if you do get dropped.
It’s unfortunately, such a “hush-hush” topic of Rush, but every girl, no matter how beautiful or smart they are, gets dropped whether they’d like to admit it or not.
So keep the faith in the process and stay positive! You got this, good luck!
Related posts to getting dropped from sorority recruitment
- How to Survive Virtual Sorority Recruitment
- What’s A Bid? And What’s Bid Day? A Guide To The Final Day of Sorority Recruitment.
- How To Drop Your Sorority Before and After Bid Day
- Should You Join A Sorority If You’re Introverted?
- 7 Qualities Sororities Are Looking For In PNMS
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