How To Be The Best Sorority Big: 10 Things All Good Bigs Do

Want to be a good sorority Big to your Little? Then you’ll need to take these action steps.

Being a sorority Big is a huge responsibility.

Not only are you in charge of planning and putting together an amazing Big Little Reveal for your soon-to-be Little, but you’re now this girl’s lifeline.

You’re going to be (hopefully) the person your Little calls when:

  • She just got dumped by her boyfriend and needs some cheering up
  • She made an A on a test she studied hours for and she wants to tell you the news before she tells her parents
  • She needs a study buddy in the library
  • She needs to buy a new outfit for sorority chapter meetings
  • And so forth…

But how do you make of this all happen? How exactly do you become the Big your Little can actually look up to and trust?

In other words, how do you become the GOAT of all sorority Bigs?!

In this blog post I’ll be sharing with you how to be a good sorority Big Sister.

More specifically, we will talk about different action steps you can take as a Big to earn the trust and respect of your sorority Little.

These action steps will help your little feel more comfortable and happy about you being her Big.

It’ll also give her a good “template” on how she should treat her Little when it is time for her to become a Big.

A sorority big whispering into her little's ear. Text overlay says, "how to be a good sorority big."

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What is a sorority Big?

If you are new to the sorority world, then the term “Big” or “Big Sister” may be a tad confusing at first, but in a nutshell:

A sorority Big is an initiated sorority woman who serves as a mentor to a sorority woman who is in a pledge class below her.

Through this mentorship, the Little learns how to be a loyal Sister of her sorority and receives guidance throughout her sorority and college experience from her Big.

For more information about how this whole sorority Big Little process works, click here to read the ultimate guide to sorority Big Little.

Or if you’re wanting to learn more sorority family terminology check out this blog post by clicking here.

10 Things All Good Sorority Bigs Do

Wondering how to be a good Big to your Little? Here’s 10 actionable items you can implement as a soon-to-be or current sorority Big.

1. Consistently checks in on her Little

Every sorority women is BUSY!

From having to balance school, work, and sorority obligations while still making time for a social life, it’s nothing less than hectic.

However, no matter how busy you get, you need to still check in on your Little every once in awhile.

Now you don’t have to talk to your Little everyday unless you’re BFFs or roommates, but it’s a good idea to check in on her at least twice a week.

Send her a text message, call, or FaceTime her at the beginning of the week and at the end of the week to make sure she’s keeping her life together too.

She will surely appreciate the effort and will trust you even more knowing that her Big is there for her and didn’t just fall off the face of the Earth.

I’ve seen too many Littles get the sorority Big of their dreams just to end up hearing crickets right after Big Little Reveal.

Don’t let your Little feel like she made a mistake choosing you. Communicate with her consistently.

2. Protective of her Little

Your Little, especially if she is a freshman in college, can get into a lot of mischief as she’s learning and trialing her newfound independence from her parents.

She’s bound to go to a party that has questionable people at it, push her limits while drinking, or just doesn’t know the safest route to walk back to her dorm at night after class.

That’s where YOU step in to guide to through the good, bad, and ugly side of college and Greek Life:

  • To make sure she ends up safely at her apartment and not on the floor of a frat house on a Friday night.
  • To make sure she doesn’t go out with THAT guy from THAT fraternity.
  • To make sure she’s drinking water while at parties and pacing herself wisely.
  • Etc.

Of course, at the end of the day, her actions are her own responsibility and you’re not really her mom or get to control her life.

But you can help her make more rational and safer decisions throughout her college experience. And by doing so, your Little will be eternally grateful for you!

3. Encourages her Little to be an active Sister

There are certainly times when life and school makes being an active sorority member difficult.

However, if you’re noticing your sorority Little is:

  • Missing too many chapter meetings
  • Not coming to required events like Sisterhood Retreat or Recruitment Workshops
  • Having a negative attitude toward the sorority
  • Being distant from the sorority in general
  • Not paying her dues on time
  • Etc.

Then it may be time to talk to her and encourage her to start being more active or figure out what’s causing her to be distant.

To encourage her to be more active try:

  • Offering her rides to sorority events
  • Ensuring her you will hang out with her at sorority events
  • Saving her a seat at informal chapter meetings
  • Inviting her to hang out with other Sisters from your chapter
  • Getting her excited about taking on leadership opportunities

4. Spends quality time with her Little

Just like any relationship, developing a strong relationship with your Little takes time and effort.

So besides consistently communicating with your Little, you also need to spend quality time with her outside of Chapter events and meetings.

Whether it’s in-person or virtually, there are tons of ways to bond with your Little:

  • Study date
  • Coffee date
  • Watch a movie via Netflix Teleparty
  • Going on a hike together
  • Window shopping together
  • Walking to class with each other
  • Etc.

By dedicating even an hour once a week to spend time with your Little, you will gain a stronger bond with your Little that will last beyond the years of college–even if it’s just in memory.

5. Helps her Little through the Big Little process

When the time comes for your sorority Little to go through the process of finding the perfect Little of her own, it is essential that you’re there for her every step of the way.

Depending who your Little is, she may have tons of questions about:

And it’s your job as a Big to help her through it all whether you’re trying to get a Little yourself, about to graduate/go early alum, or just not interested in Big Little in general.

After all, whoever your Little gets as a Little becomes your Grand Little, so you need to guide her to pick the best Little for her and your fam.

And trust me, you don’t want to be stuck with a Grand Little who causes problems with the fam or breaks your Little’s heart by dropping the sorority before Initiation.

So as her Big help your Little by:

  • Looking out for new members who don’t seem committed to the sorority long-term and warn your Little about them
  • Go out on dates with your Little and girls she potentially wants as a Little
  • Help your Little construct the perfect top 10 list on matching night
  • Help her craft for her Little’s baskets or Reveal
  • Taking TONS of photos (and video) of her and her new Little at Reveal
  • Etc.

6. Respectful of her Little

Every woman who joins a sorority has different goals or ideas of what they want to get out of sorority life and college. And your Little is no different.

Your Little may want totally different things out of a sorority than you, so it can be frustrating when she:

  • Isn’t as involved in the sorority as you OR is more involved than you
  • Skips chapter meetings
  • Goes to frat parties when you hate even the thought of them
  • Doesn’t want a Little herself
  • Doesn’t work as hard academically as you
  • Doesn’t want to drink with you.
  • Etc.

But no matter what, it’s your job as a Big to respect your Little and her actions.

Of course, if she’s going down the wrong path and is on the verge of flunking out of college or getting kicked out of the sorority then it’s also your job to step in and help.

But otherwise you need to respect and support your Little’s own journey through sorority life and college.

7. Makes sure her Little is meeting the obligations of sorority membership

Most sororities have three basic obligations of membership: pay your dues, recruit other women, and stay active.

As a Big, it is your job to make sure your Little is meeting these obligations and to talk to her if she’s not.

This is especially true if your Little is having a difficult time keeping up with her sorority dues or missing one too many required sorority events.

By making sure your Little is meeting the obligations of membership, you are making your chapter stronger too. So it’s a win-win.

8. Is supportive of her Little

Good Big are cheerleaders for their Littles.

Whether that’s sending her a text congratulating her on the A she got on a test or taking her out to a celebratory dinner after scoring an internship, your job as a Big is to make sure your Little knows she’s loved and supported.

Not only are the best Bigs supportive in the high moments of their Little’s lives, but also during the smaller or down moments of life.

Here’s some examples:

  • Helping your Little study for a test in a class she isn’t doing well in
  • Driving your Little to pick up her car that’s been in the shop
  • Trying to cheer your Little up after losing an election in the chapter
  • Attending and cheering your Little on during intramural sports games

9. Ensures her Little is keeping up with school

Every sorority woman should have academics/good grades as a top priority while in college.

Making good grades in college helps you represent your sorority in a good way and allows you to enjoy everything your sorority has to offer.

Because trust me, you do not want to be on academic probation!

By being on academic probation in your sorority you can lose the ability to attend events and you are required to log more study hours per week.

With that being said, as a sorority Big, it is your duty to make sure your Little is keeping her grades up.

If she is struggling with her grades, then you may need to step in and help her by:

  • Helping her create a study plan
  • Holding her accountable to her study plan
  • Directing her to on-campus resources like tutoring or test anxiety workshops
  • Offering to help her studying for an upcoming test or quiz
  • Helping her revise her research papers or essays

By checking in with your Little every so often about her academics you can help her develop good study habits and be able to enjoy sorority life to the fullest with you!

10. Helps connect her with other sorority women in the chapter

Unfortunately, there will come a time when you and your Little won’t always be active in the sorority together.

One day you will graduate, go early alum, have a busier than usual semester, or even drop your sorority to pursue things to enhance your academics or future professional career.

Being the good Big that you are, it is important that you set your Little up for success by helping her meet other Sisters who she can hang out with and or get advice from.

This is especially important if you have a Little who is more on the introverted side or has fears about reaching out to other Sisters.

You can help your Little connect to other sorority women in your chapter by:

  • Inviting her to hang out with you and your friends from the chapter
  • Referring your Little to Sisters who may be able to give her better advice than what you can give her
  • Encouraging her to meet and befriend women from other sorority chapters on campus

Concluding thoughts on how to be a good sorority big

For many sorority women, becoming a Big is a highlight of their entire college and sorority experience and this responsibility shouldn’t be taken for granted.

After all, your sorority Little will be constantly looking to you for guidance and support throughout her college and sorority experience.

In hopes of preparing you to becoming a Big or to help you get more ideas on how to be the best Big ever, this blog post discussed 10 things all good sorority Bigs do.

I hope you can take these pieces of advice and incorporate a few, or all of them, into your Big Little relationship. Good luck!

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Sorority Big and Little spending time together.

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