7 Tips for Picking The Perfect Sorority Big or Little

Wondering how to pick the perfect sorority big or sorority little? Here are 7 tips for choosing your sorority big or sorority little.

Sorority Big Little season begins the moment the newest and brightest pledge class runs home on Bid Day. And everyone wants to be the next dream big little duo.

If you’re a new sorority big, already have a little or little(s) of your own, or a new member looking for the perfect sorority big, you have come to the right place!

In today’s blog post I will be sharing with you 7 tips for choosing the perfect sorority big or sorority little.

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Sorority Big Little terminology you need to know

Big: an initiated sister in the sorority who serves as a mentor for her Little and guides her through the new member process and helps her navigate college and sorority life.

Becoming a Big soon? You may like: How to be the Perfect Sorority Big

Big Little Week: a week where sorority bigs spoil their sorority littles with gifts and build anticipation for Big Little Reveal at the end of the week.

Crafting: the process of making or painting canvases or sorority wooden letters for sorority littles.

Fam/Family Name: a name you call your sorority family. It is a collective group name that your sorority fam usually chooses themselves. Example: Space Fam or Diamond Fam.

Jersey: a special, custom made short sleeve shirt that is exchanged by a sorority Big and Little. The jersey typically includes your member number and a nickname your sorority Big gives you.

For a more extensive list of sorority family terminology, check out this blog post.

Little: a new member of a sorority who seeks guidance and support from her sorority Big throughout the new member process and navigating college and sorority life.

Matching: the process of matching Bigs and Littles together based on either rankings or personality tests that assess the compatibility between a potential Big Little pairing.

Pin box: usually a wooden box that is painted and decorated by the sorority Big and is given to the Little during Big Little Week. The pin box will hold the sorority Little’s membership pin for formal chapter meetings.

Pledge class: the group of women who joined the sorority in a certain semester and year. Ex: Pledge Class of Fall 2020–these women joined the sorority as new members during the Fall semester of 2020.

Reveal: the day where a Big reveals that she is her new Little’s sorority Big.

Sorority Family/Fam: a collective group of women who are considered connected by the sorority through Big Little pairings. Some sorority families are big and some are small. It includes bigs, littles, grand littles, great grand littles, etc.

Stack Photo: a photo of a sorority family that is tiered shaped. It shows how the sorority family is organized from the more “senior” member of the family at the top to the newest family members at the bottom.

Stitch Letters: a shirt that has the sorority’s Greek letters on the front that are stitched onto the shirt instead of printed. The Greek letters can be a solid color or a pattern. Some sorority families have their own unique stitch letter pattern.

Theme: think of this as a party theme. The Big Little reveal theme is what the sorority family decides what to center their look or aesthetic for the day of reveal. For example: a Harley-Davidson inspired Big Little reveal theme would include something like this:

Twins: when a sorority Big has two littles we consider her to have twins. If the sorority Big had three littles, then they would be triplets. Twins/triplets do not have to be from the same pledge class.

7 tips for picking the perfect sorority Big or Little

Tip #1: Find someone who has similar interests or hobbies

There are two sayings you have probably heard about couples or friendships:

  1. Birds of a feather flock together
  2. Opposites attract

Which one do you think would lead to a happy sorority big little pairing? Not the second one–trust me.

The best Big Little pairings are those who have a lot in common–personality, interests, hobbies, favorite movie genre, favorite TV shows, etc.

Having a lot in commons means you as a Big Little pairing can enjoy doing things together, which as a result, builds a stronger Big Little relationship. Having very little in common with your sorority Big or Little just leads to disaster.

Not having much in common can make it harder to communicate and make time for one another.

Think of a Big Little relationship as a normal friendship–you have to make time and effort to make the relationship stronger. Without a baseline, meaning similar interests or hobbies to build the relationship upon, it is very difficult to see eye to eye.

You may also like: 101 Gift Ideas for Your Sorority Little’s Gift Baskets

Tip #2: Choose someone who has the same major or minor as you

At the end of the day, college is primarily for getting an education and a degree, so why not have your sorority Big or Little be your built-in sorority study buddy.

Having a sorority Big or Little who has the same major or minor as you can help you study, tell you which professor to take next semester, keep you accountable, and work on group projects with you.

Also, knowing that your sorority Big or Little is in class saving you a seat on the first day can be comforting and you’re bound to create a stronger bond through not only sisterhood but academics as well.

Tip #3: Choose someone who has the same love language as you

This tip is actually more important than you think it is.

All relationships require consistent communication and interaction. The more you communicate and interact with someone the more you will understand how they tick.

However, sometimes it can be hard to communicate or interact with someone even if you are related or bonded by sisterhood.

Sure it is all fun and games on Big Little Reveal night, but when the night is over, all the bonding and relationship building between a sorority Big and Little is up to them.

Not understanding each other’s love language can complicate the relationship.

It can be difficult to understand how to get the attention and appreciation from your sorority Big or sorority Little if you just don’t know provides them with the reassurance that you care about them and your friendship.

Love languages play a role in building the bond between a sorority Big and Little.

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, the psychologist who wrote the book series, The 5 Love Languages, there are 5 love languages:

  1. Words of affirmation
  2. Acts of service
  3. Receiving gifts
  4. Quality time
  5. Physical touch

By knowing one another’s love language it is easier to communicate and interact because you know and understand what actions you need to take to build a stronger relationship.

For example, if your sorority Little’s love language is “quality time” and you, as a sorority Big, are having a hard time connecting with her, take her out on a coffee big little date. Your Little will appreciate it and it can help further your relationship as Big and Little.

I’ve seen so many sorority Big Little pairings crumble because of a lack of understanding of each other’s needs and desired outcome of the Big Little relationship. Even my own sorority Big Little relationship ended because we did not see eye to eye on what our Big Little relationship was or meant.

Tip #4: Find someone who has the same stance on college parties or going out

When people think of sororities they probably think of girls going out every weekend to parties or to the local bars. And while there is a good proportion of sorority women who do indulge in these activities, there are also a good amount who do not.

However, things can get dicey if a sorority Big Little duo does not see eye to eye on college parties or going out.

For example, if a sorority Big loves going out to bars on the weekend, but the sorority Little does not, but goes out to please her Big, the Little will most likely not have a fun time and may resent her Big.

You may also like: I Hate My Sorority Big! What Can I Do?

Or if a sorority Little sees her sorority Big on Instagram or Snapchat going to a fraternity party she may experience the fear of missing out (FOMO) even though she is naturally not a partier.

There is a lot of pressure, sometimes, for sorority Bigs and Littles to do everything together.

In sororities, if you don’t have photos with your Big or with your Little, other sisters in the sorority may question the status of your relationship.

When meeting up with and getting to know a potential sorority Big or sorority Little try to gauge where they stand in regards to partying, drinking, or going out.

It will save you a lot of trouble in the future if you can find someone who has the same party and drinking threshold as you!

Tip #5: Find someone who has friends and/or a sorority family you click with

Picking the perfect sorority Big or Little is not just choosing a single person who you can call Big or Little. It is also about choosing a whole package of people.

As a potential sorority Big you want to choose a Little who’s friend group you can jive with.

And as a new member in the sorority seeking the perfect sorority Big, you want to choose a Big who has friends in the sorority you get along with and, even more so, a sorority family you can picture yourself with long-term.

You do not want to get to the point where you are purposely avoiding your sorority Big or Little because of a certain friend they have who irritates you.

Also, you want to have a sorority family that gets along with one another even during bad times.

As a potential new Big, when going out on “dates” with potential sorority Littles, bring another Sister who is in your sorority family to see how everyone gets along.

Tip #6: Find someone who will be a good influence on you

It is common to see new members join a sorority only to suffer academically at the end of the semester due to bad influences by women in their sorority or even worse their own sorority big.

Likewise, sorority bigs may be negatively impacted by the stress of their new little struggling with juggling school, sorority events, going out too much, and having too many boy problems 24/7.

As a potential sorority Big or a new member in the sorority, you need to be honest with yourself with how much drama you can handle from your future sorority Big or sorority Little.

If you are normally a chill, drama-free type of gal maybe its best to choose a sorority Big or sorority Little who already has a lot of her life put together.

You may also like: 5 Practical Tips To Help You Get The Sorority Big You Want

If you are a sorority Big looking for a little and do not want to do too much babysitting, try seeking out a Little who is not a freshman. Upperclassmen usually have college down pact and know how to manage their time in college.

If you are a new member looking for a Big, try to find a Big who will uplift you, motivate you to study and get good grades, and not pressure you to go to fraternity parties when you know you have a huge test the next day.

Tip #7: Choose someone for their personality over their looks

Unfortunately, when it comes to finding the perfect sorority Big or Little, physical appearance is the first thing that is noticed and what attracts a potential sorority Big to reach out to a new member or sorority Little to reach out to a potential Big.

Alternatively, a new member may only want to join the “prettiest” sorority family. These shallow desires detract from the true purpose of a sorority Big Little relationship.

At the core, a Big Little relationship is a mentorship.

The Big’s purpose is to guide her new little through initiation, college life, sorority life, and life after college.

The Little, in return, is to learn all she can from her Big so she can pass it on to her own future Little(s) or new members in the sorority.

Also, the sorority Big and Little builds each other up as women and encourages growth in all parts of life.

Just choosing a sorority Big or Little based on their hair color, clear skin, facial features, or how good they look in photos will most likely keep the relationship from being more than surface level.

You may also like: I Didn’t Get A Sorority Little. Now What?

Choosing a sorority Big or Little based on their personality, especially a personality that clicks with yours, is more likely to allow for a deeper relationship as a Big Little duo.

You’ll be able to understand one another better, be able to provide real actionable guidance to one another and keep reconnecting with one another time after time even when sorority life is all said and done.

Concluding thoughts on picking the perfect sorority big or sorority little

Picking the perfect sorority big or little is a decision you can’t make lightly.

This one decision will follow you throughout your entire experience in your sorority chapter whether it is good or bad.

When choosing a sorority Big or Little it is important to choose someone whose personality, values, hobbies, interests, and lifestyle align with yours.

Sure, a sorority Big Little pairing can have their differences, but too many differences can result in a failed Big Little relationship.

I hope these 7 tips for picking the perfect sorority Big or Little helps you make the right decision come Big Little season!

And at the end of the day, remember that any relationship to thrive, you have to nurture it!

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